Happy Halloween!

Posted by Lady Mel On Saturday, October 31, 2009 2 comments

I finally completed the story. I hope you like the twists and turns and reread it for your viewing pleasure. So, I want you guys to have a fun and safe Halloween this year and save me some of that good Halloween candy while you are at it. Yummy. =) *waves*



It is about 10:00pm at night. LadyMel tosses and turns in her sleep. It has been two weeks since the tragic incident in Miami and she has not slept peacefully. The media won't leave her anymore. She has no sense of privacy anymore. Every night she has the same frightening nightmare. She imagines herself on a foggy, Saturday night being chased down three zombie-like celebrity douche bags from a graveyard to the end of the of a mountain cliff. She wakes up right before she jumped to her awaited death at the sea below.

But tonight was quite different. There were no zombies, no cliff, no sense of eeriness people get when exploring inside a graveyard in the middle of the night. She keeps hearing little eerie noises in her head, demanding her to turn on the TV. Suddenly, Lady Mel jumps off with her eyes wide open, finds the remote, and turns the TV. What you are to read is possible the most unusual thing unimaginable. Three green aliens appear in what looks like President Obama's Oval Office. The old-looking one is sitting in the president's seat while the two taller ones are beside him, gazing mercilessly at LadyMel. Their hypnotic, black eyes pierced into LadyMel's being like the eyes of a newly fresh corpse. The eldest begins to speak, all is silent and sinister in the air.



Alien # 1: (In an alien voice). Good evening, earthlings. Some of you are wondering why there are three little green men on your television screen and no we did not hijacked the White House. This room is a image projection of your leader of the free world's historical office. Our technology is a thousand year more advanced than your pitiful piece of garbage, so you would not understand if I told you. (small cough). My name is Denias, the leader of the Truth, a 100,000 year old race of beings from a galaxy 10 billion light years from Earth. We are here to present you with some needed information. (Spreads his arms out). I would like my vice presidents, Jetiah and Anteghi here to further explain the ordeal.

Alien# 2: (In an deep alien voice). Greetings, earthlings. We are aware of the sudden deaths of your beloved celebrity douchebags some time ago and we are quite satisfied with the results. Like the humans you are, you always point fingers and try to gather evidence to seek the absolute truth. You all are now wondering who killed your precious douchebags.(laughs devilishly).Well, we did. (LadyMel gasps, Jetiah smiles devishly). We killed them because they were not worthy to live. While, you humans continue to place these beings on a center price for the world to digest, the Truth grew tired of this nonsense and decided to put matters into our own hands.

Alien#3: (In a very sinister voice): Yes, yes. You see the last straw was with this Balloon Boy Hoax. Our satellites detected the image of the flying balloon from outer space that fateful day. We have been keeping a close eye of your world for the past 1,000 years and we decided that this was the perfect time to show you pitiful humans that incompetent baboons should not exist. What we did was we sent three extra identical party invitations to the three victims. The three of us picked a victim and arranged each murder to our liking. Thanks to our technology, we virtually left any prints or DNA at the crime scene. We saw the confusion of your faces and decided we could not have all the fun. (In a sarcastic tone). Call us clever or nefarious, but we are the peacemakers here. Imagine a world without douchebags. (small pause). I bet you cannot. That is where we come in to cleanse your race of its barbarians and jackasses.



Alient #1: (Smirks). Therefore, there is no need to declare war on my people. Just continue on with your pathetic ways of living and remember that we lurk in your dreams and very existence. If you want a war, you all will die. (laughs evilly). We are aware that there are millions more out there and we will do what's in our power to eradicate these douchebags (speaks slowly) once and for all. You have been told the Truth. Muhahahahaha! (TV goes fuzzy, the TV screen turns black).

Lady Mel is in full shock and denial. Although, these aliens are the masterminds of the triple murders, there are still questions left to be asked. Only time will tell. What the future holds for Lady Mel and the world at large is uncertain, but she now understands that she and the aliens have something in common, despite common appearances: Douchebags must be punished.

THE END

Murder at The Million Dollar Halloween Party, Part III

Posted by Lady Mel On Friday, October 30, 2009 1 comments

It has been several hours and the event has already made headlines on every main American and international cable network. The tabloids are going to eat this tragedy up like the best sushi in Japan. Lady Mel has been getting frantic phone calls from loved ones and even a couple of death threats.

In the morning, she opens her white curtains inside her Miami apartment complex to get some sun into the cold room; only to see dozens if not hundreds of paparazzi and wannabe Youtubers above her balcony window flashing bright lights. She runs out of the hotel and into her $500,000 white Lamborghini and zooms out before the shetter bugs could even take decent, profitable pictures. Thankfully, the paparazzi was stupid enough to not surround Miami's forensics lab. Five minutes later, Lady is sitting across a table from Horaino Cain and his other partner Eric Delko, who is taking notes.



Horatio: (throws a copy of guest list in front of her). I see that Mr. West, Mr. Heenes, and Mr. Gosselin were not on your guest list? Why is that?

LadyMel: Because they were douche bags and male media whores. Need I say more?

Horatio: (sarcastically). Explain in English, please? I do not have all day.

LadyMel:  I invite who I think are the most recognized and innovative celebrities and entrepreneurs out there. Kanye West screwed up on the VMA's. He did not get invited. Richard Heenes wasted two hours of my life as he fooled the world into believing that his kid son was caught inside a flying balloon. He did not get invited. Mr. Gosselin is a male media whore who only wants to stay in the limelight to extend his fifteen minutes of fame. Epic fail on his part. So, he did not get invited. I do not waste time with people of the lowest denominator. Do you see the pattern here?

Horatio: (sarcastically, paces around room). Yes, I most certainly do. But you are a celebrity yourself, am I right? Are you an attention whore? I've heard about your late-night talk show and highly-publicized celebrity interviews. I bet you hired a hitman to kill them these men (whispers in her ear), so that you can increase your celebrity brand.

LadyMel: (in a calm voice). Yes,  I seek publicity and the love of my admired fans quite frankly. But I have been hosting this Halloween event for five years now. I have helped raised close to a billion dollars in philanthropy work. Each guest donates his or her million dollar fee including mine own to a local charity or other non-profit organization of his or her choice. I may be an attention whore, but I put my mouth where the $$ is.



Horatio: (Looks directly into Lady Mel's face, small pause). I've interviewed some of your guests and I will not say names because I want to protect their confidentiality, but a few have mentioned to me that they did not see you a hour prior to the LadyGaga performance. Where were you at that time?

Lady Mel: (calmly): I am a hands-on kind of gal. I was all over the place last night, making sure the food was served properly. I did not pay the world-revered Wolfgang Puck $2 million dollars for nothing.  I made  sure everyone had enough champagne and vodka to drink. I was in the chef's quarters. I was dancing my ass off. I was doing a hostess does best; to make her guests as entertained and satisfied as possible, while having my own bit fun in the mix. (In a slight angry tone). If my guests want to point fingers at me, if you want to point fingers at me, then you have the wrong person. (Small pause). I think we are done here.

Horatio: (smirks, puts signature black shades on). Yes, I think we are. We will get back to you once we have all the evidence. And if you are the culprit in this case, I will make sure you do not get patrol. They may have been incompetent men, but a murder is a murder. You have a wonderful day now.

LadyMel: (smiles): Thank you very much. (Grabs her pulse and leaves the room. She gets into her car, rides in the back door of the hotel and up the stairs to her VIP room. She jumps on the bed and takes a deep breath. This is the biggest thing that has ever happened to her life. How will she survived the media? But more importantly, who is the killer?)


TO BE CONTINUED.......

 Is this the end of LadyMel's Hollywood career? Why did this had to happen on her most anticipated night of the year? Some force of nature was brewing underneath the surface and she was willing to get to the bottom of things.We may be a NY socialite and TV personality, but she has a Yale law degree.

 It has been 10 minutes since the ending of the first installment of this story and Lady Mel, along with her celebrity guests, stand by the side of the road as several police vehicles, a black SUV, and several ambulances parked in front of the rented Miami mansion. Exiting the black, unmarked SUV were no other than Horatio Caine and his partner Cailleigh Duqueque, supervisors of Miami's most badass and highly-assembled forensic team in the known galaxy. Horatio Caine walks up to LadyMel with his cool demeanor and signature dark shades.



Horatio: (In his badass voice). LadyMel, I want you to come over here. (Calleigh walks over to Horatio). My colleague Ms.Duqueque (Calleigh grins at LadyMel) will present her findings, while I will ask you a couple of questions.

LadyMel: Of course. (Horatio leads LadyMel to one of the ambulances with the bodies of Richard Heenes and Jon Gosselin inside).

Horatio: (Takes shades off, looks directly at LadyMel). Miss, I would like your complete guest list and full access to the cameras inside this mansion. I will tell the public that every guest will be fully interrogated in several rounds of questioning including you and your security team. We will get to the bottom of this and I will assure you that your guests will not leave this country until a thorough investigation has been executed. Since, you are the prime suspect in this case, you will be one of the first person that I will interview. Do you understand?

LadyMel: (smirks). Yes, I do. But, I will have my lawyer flown here before you can say "I'm innocent".

Horatio: (stern voice). You better make sure of that.



Calleigh: (Opens up body bags, small pause). I examined Mr. Heenes's body first. It seemed that there was no sign of resistance or struggle. Someone from behind stabbed him with two butler knives repeatedly in the back. I saw large, deep cuts near the pelvis area, the lower and upper back area, and near the neckline. (points to Gosselin). Mr. Gosselin seemed like someone pushed him into the pool and forced his head into the water with extreme force until he ran out of oxygen. From the looks of it, Mr. West was pushed from the balcony to his death. There was a lot of internal bleeding and when he hit the cement floor, his skull was crushed into a thousand pieces.

Now, these are just preliminary examinations. Within the next month, we will reexamine the bodies and the murder scene and talk with witnesses and close associates of the suspects until we have substantial forensic evidence to convict someone or a group of people with three accounts of first-degree murder.

Horatio: LadyMel, when are you avaliable to talk with me and my team?

Lady Mel: I will be at your office by one o'clock.

Horatio: Alright then. Judging from these three men and their common douche bag reputations (puts his signature black shades on), I guess karma is a bitch. (Walks away from the left side, the Who's Won't Be Fooled Again (CSI: Miami theme song) plays in the background).


To Be Continued................

Real IPhone Costumes and Updates

Posted by Lady Mel On Thursday, October 29, 2009 0 comments

Hi, everyone. I am taking a mini break from writing today. I hope you guys enjoyed my intense Halloween drama. I am in the works of planning the last (several as 10/30/09) installment right now. It will be posted by tomorrow afternoon. Please comment on yesterday's blog post and tell what you think so far. For those who do not know, my alter ego is LadyMel and I channel her energy in my blog. I also have some nice, unpredictable things in store for the ending. Or is there an ending to this horror story? Muahahahaha.

In the meanwhile, watch this cool video below. I was snooping on Mediabistro.com last night and I came across it. These two guys are wearing fabulous IPhone costumes that they actually built. They look very creative and usable like real IPhones in the market. I wonder if I can press their buttons. ^.^  I am such a flirt.


Murder at The Million Dollar Halloween Party, Part I

Posted by Lady Mel On Wednesday, October 28, 2009 0 comments

Lady Mel has established herself as one of the most famous and legendary NY socialites around. She has lived in Paris, Tokyo, Prague, London, Rio de Janeiro, and other exquisite places, the non-wealthy can only dream of. She is also an emerging late night talk show host, a profession that was once a networked old boys club.



This Halloween, Lady Mel is hosting her annual Million Dollar Halloween Party in Miami. It is so exclusive that only 200 guests are invited and they must pay $1 million dollars to get in. The proceeds are donated to their favorite charities or their own charity organizations, of course. This year's party theme is Hollywood meets Dracula, so everyone must wear either extravagant, period or modern costumes with a dash of that Halloween spirit. In this scene, Lady Mel and her assistant Prue are sitting at the table of LadyMel's office in her upscale NY Penn house in Upper Manhattan, reviewing the final revision of the guest list and confirming the party's festivities.
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LadyMel: Prue, we must finish the final plans for the party! It is going to be fabulous. I am going to get publicity like no one's business. Anyway I want to check with you to see if everything is in order. Do you have the lights and decorations?

Prue: Check.

LadyMel: Will our DJ and our awesome performing guest come? Drinks, food?

Prue: Yes, DJ Clue and Lady Gaga are coming. Lady Gaga is going to perform some of her hit songs off her freshman album and some of our favorite Halloween songs. Her manager only wants a piano and the stage decorated. The liquor will be trucked in two days before the party so we have to make sure they are kept in cold temperatures. And Wolfgang Puck will be here tomorrow morning at 11:00am to go over our party's delicious menu.

LadyMel: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. This is why I can always count on you Prue. You are divine. Call Mr. Jones and tell him that the rented mansion has a lovely white piano and stage in the ballroom. (Smiling with glee). I am so excited. I know you haven't seen me this happy like ever.

I felt pressured to top this party from last year's and I will. This year, I have a well-connected security system. No one gets inside that mansion except my favorite 200 celebrity guests. We have cameras in every room of the facility. We will have at least ten bouncers by the door, identifying guests and kicking out the uninvited and even the invited guests who act all rowdy and disrespectful before they even hit the dance floor. Which brings me to my last proposition before I eat my dinner. Prue, could you read the names on the guest list please?

Prue: (In a clear voice). Of course. We have Mr. and Mrs. David Beckham, Lady Gaga, the Black Eye Peas, Peaches, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Gerard Butler, Paul Wesley, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Oprah Winfrey, Kanye West.....

LadyMel: (In a loud voice). Kanye West?! K-A-N-Y-E W-E-S-T?! Prue, what did I say about whom to invite?

Prue: *sighs* They must be either A-list stars and winners in their own right. We do not invite douchebags.

LadyMel: (ProudlyExactly. You are becoming a fast learner dear. Please make sure that our special performing guest does not get leaked to the public until after our little event ends. Now continue with the list....
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Prue continues until everyone on the guest list had a "Lady Mel background check" before invitations went out. Four weeks later, the party of the millennium is in full bloom. After a hour of grand entrances, casual talk, and the consumption of $2000 bottles of white champagne, the guests surround the beautiful, yet retro stage as they wait for the mistress of ceremony to start the show.

In a nanosecond, the audience hears a set of drums coming from behind the curtains. The curtain opens and everyone starts screaming "Lady Mel". LadyMel comes out with a Marie Antoinette costume with a set of vampire fangs and fake blood all over her dress. Yet, she is the most sexiest person in the room. She is laying on a Egyptian style coach with two handsome Brazilian hulks on both ends feeding her grapes. She brings the microphone to her mouth.


Lady Mel: (In a devilish sexy voice). Hello, everyone. CAN EVERYONE MAKE SOME NOISE?! (Heaps of applause and screaming men from the audience). I want to invite you all to the greatest show on earth, the fifth annual Million Dollar Halloween Extravaganza! (More round of applause.) Before we start, I want to thank my personal assistant Prue (points to Prue in the back of room; everyone looks at her.) for helping me organize this wonderful occasion. I could not do it without you. (Blows a kiss to Prue on stage). Give her a round of applause people! (Loud Applause and whistles.)

I also want to thank all my favorite people out here who came out tonight. (Looks all around the whole room.) You know I am the best in the game and I hope this will become a time you will never forget! So, start dancing, get laid, drink until you are tipsy, because this is the only time of the year when your passions and fantasies will come true. LETS GET THIS FUCKING SHOW STARTED! Hit it DJ Clue! (DJ Clue starts playing a hip-hop/techno remix not heard anywhere else, everyone starts screaming like banshees and dancing to the music.)

Two hours into the party, LadyMel introduces LadyGaga on stage. The audience goes absolutely wild! It is until Lady Gaga begins to perform her third song of the night, "Paparazzi", when this night of fun and adventure comes to a halt. In the middle of the song, a very loud scream comes from the left side of the ballroom. It's coming from the pool area. Everyone rushes outside to the pool area and what you are about to read will make you vomit, I guarantee you. Two identified corpses are in close proximity of one another. In the middle of the pool, Jon Gosselin's lifeless body lies; just south of Jon's corpse on the ground near the balcony seems to be Kanye West's corpse covered in blood.



Lady Mel: (in a confused, terrified voice). Omg, Omg, Omg. Someone call the police! NOOWW! (Prue calls the police on her IPhone 3G). (Someone else screams in the kitchen on the first floor; everyone rushes to the kitchen. There, the third victim, Richard Heenes's corpse is faced down on the floor with two butcher knives sticking out of his back covered in blood.)


Lady Mel: (In a calm voice). Everyone, I want you all to go back into the ballroom and remain calm. Police will arrive within the next five minutes. I am terribly sorry that this has happened. (All of a sudden, the sparkler system goes off and everyone rushes out of the mansion, dritched in cold water.  Paparazzi are outside flashing their lights and taking pictures of the terrified celebrity crowd. For what may come out of these murders will become the biggest scandal of all time. )

TO BE CONTINUED.....

This is Halloween!

Posted by Lady Mel On Tuesday, October 27, 2009 4 comments


I hate really, really scary movies. I can get so traumatized to the point where I think the monster is right by my bed watching me sleep and I am 22 years old! I won't say any names, but I recently saw just a promo picture of my most hated scary movie of all time on hulu.com and I could not function for about three days straight. (Urggh). Anyway, Tim Burton's classic masterpiece, The Nightmare Before Christmas, is one of my all-time favorite Halloween movies as a child. It is entertaining in a not-so scary way even with the dark overtones.


I've posted the "This is Halloween" and "What Is This?" songs above just to give you guys a sneak peek or a walk down memory lane. Good childhood memories. If you haven't seen this movie, go on Netflix.com and rent a copy this week. This will be worth your wild.

What to Wear/What Not to Wear This Halloween

Posted by Lady Mel On Monday, October 26, 2009 4 comments

Hello everyone! As a child, I dressed up as a pirate, Cleopatra, a witch, and a pumpkin for Halloween. But as I've matured, I like being myself for Halloween because it takes very little effort on my part to show my awesomeness without spending $$$. I am a Halloween fashion trendsetter without absolutely doing nothing. I rock. ^.^ Halloween is a day in which people can shed their boring selves and embody the celebrity or magical/demonic creature of their choice. But, I would advise not to dress as certain people or images because I am trying to save you from public humiliation. After looking at each costume below, you will know what I mean. Here are some examples.

DO                                                                                                     




                                                
DON'T


DO 



DON'T 


DO


DON'T


DO


DON'T


DO


DON'T


DO


DON'T


What are your favorite/least favorite Halloween costumes picks this year? Post them in comments below.

It's Showtime, Halloween Week!

Posted by Lady Mel On Sunday, October 25, 2009 0 comments




Get ready for Halloween this Saturday. Now is the time to buy your crazy costumes and prepare for the all-exclusive Halloween parties and events across the country. What will I be doing to celebrate this holiday? Let just say that I will keep it low-key this year. I will be myself for Halloween. Sometimes, I think that is the most original costume out there. But don't let my seemingly bland plans ruin your sense of fun and uncontrollable excitement. I will celebrate Halloween by hosting a week of ghastly, terrorizing, and ghouly entertainment in the LAND OF CYBERSPACE.

This blog is going to shock you, frighten you, amuse you until you are dying for more. Since, I am a natural tease, I will not tell what I have up my sleeves. But I will add is that each blog post this week will be Halloween themed.  (In the scariest witch voice ever). This blog will come alive and tear your heart out! Sleep my children. Sleep innocuous dreams and by Halloween, you all will be mine for the plucking. I want you and your little dog too. Muhahahahaha!

The Truth Will Set Us Free

Posted by Lady Mel On Friday, October 23, 2009 4 comments

This nation's political atmosphere is heating up as Congress tries to pass health care reform and challenge the big insurance and financial institutions. I still cannot believe that top Bank of America and Goldman Sachs executives still get paid millions per year, while 15 million Americans are still struggling to find work to support themselves and their families. God, this country is something else.

Anyway, I want to leave you this Friday with something special and inspirational in these times of need and desperation. I found this video from the Huffington Post. The video surfaced around April on YouTube, but I haven't heard about it until yesterday morning. I shed a tear watching it. It totally changed my line of thinking.

I said earlier in October that when I talk about politics on my blog, I try to be as open-minded as possible. So, leave your political and religious views aside as you watch this video. WWII veteran Phillip Spooner spoke at a gay rights testimonial for Maine's Marriage Equality Bill. Mr. Spooner fought for this country at a time when racism and Antisemitism not only ran rampant in the United States, but across the world. He, like millions of  U.S military veterans and soldiers are the true patriots. Mr. Spooner is a proud Republican but  supports gay marriage.  Yes, a Republican who supports the ideology that gay people can get marry with the same benefits as married heterosexual couples. Isn't it a breath of fresh air? It surely is and I have never been better.

I am not going to ruin the whole video for my readers, but I will say is that Mr. Snooper, despite how many players (I won't say names) within the Republican party have defined themselves, believes that all people are created equal.

Mr. Snooper, I salute you on your outstanding courage and understanding that when fighting for your nation on a global scale, we should care about the character of each solider in combat, not his or her sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or creed. You are a treasure and a shining light for those who are hopeful and optimistic of a better America. In a previous post, I said that one of my pet peeves is hypocrisy and for discriminated soldiers to risk their lives for a nation where people judged them by their gender identities or cultural backgrounds is highly pathetic in my opinion. So my message to this country is cut the bullcrap and start loving one another. Listen to his story below.

Picture of the Week

Posted by Lady Mel On 3 comments


          Can't Sing.
Can't Dance
                       Can't Perform
Why Do I Love Your Hair? 
                   Why are You Famous?

Please Don't Stop the Music!

Posted by Lady Mel On Thursday, October 22, 2009 1 comments

I am a self-proclaimed music junkie. I will listen to almost any form of music that is recognizable to the modern wannabe hipster woman. I still carry the CD collection that I burned in high-school. I know I wasn't the only freshman dancing around her dorm room on a Friday night with her Ipod at her side, dancing like a maniac. Wait, I am a certified maniac. Figures. I make the seemingly weird unification of Bollywood, 90s, early 2000s Japanese pop music and Muse onto a MP3 player acceptable. For the past three years, I have used my YouTube account to create several dozen playlists containing hip-shaking, inspirational, groovy, hot tranny mess (I reinvented the word) songs from cheesy commercials, WOW pvp videos, movie soundtracks, and anime shows. And if I hear just a nanosecond of a song being played on television, I will Google search that song immensely until I find the lyrics, the artist's name, the year it was recorded, and the title of the song.

Everyone has his or her reasons to download music in this digital age. Some people need an escape route or outlet from the troubles and problems of twenty-first century life especially during this recession. I personally play music whenever I feel like I need that extra boost to my day or I can be bored out of my mind and I will look through my Youtube playlists to find that perfect melody or tune to match my current state of mind. With the release of the Google Music service and preexisting digital music centers such as Itunes, Limewire(^.^), YouTube, and Yahoo! Music, I have every right to download free music and internalize it into something grateful and magnificent for the time being. It is called the Internet you know.

So, I am going to give you guys a sample of my music encyclopedia. It is amazing how I can listen to a very diverse collection of artists and genres and not go delusional. Some of you have or have not heard these songs, but I advise you to wiki these artists and try to hear their other works. I am currently listening to:

1. Bonnie Pink's "It's Gonna Rain"
I love the song. It's in Japanese. It has the mixture of that Japanese pop charm and funky jazz beats. It always keeps me cheerful and optimistic.



2.  The Simpsons Theme Song: Krump Style
I am not a Simpsons fan. Even after 20 years running, I never will be. But, I am a big Family Guy fan. However, I am in love with Krump and black House music. I am from NJ of all places and I hear it all the time. And when I found this little gem one day scouting Youtube, I went absolutely nuts! This song was composed by J-Squad. The bass beat is so infectious, I made myself dance in front of my parents, but I do all the time when I dance. I am an attention whore ok!



3.  Yoko Kanno's "Gravity"
I have been an anime fan since I was in high-school. Yoko Kanno is known in Japan as a great composer. She has written music for the ever popular Japanese anime shows: Cowboy Bebop, Vision of Escaflowne, and Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone ComplexWolf's Rain as a series is pretty good, but musically Yoko Kanno is a breath of fresh air. Yoko composed the song, Japanese singer Maaya Sakamoto sings the song in English.



So when you listen to these songs, look for your meaning to the music. "Gravity" talks about dying, but you can interpret it as a love song. That is why I love music because it is so universal yet multifaceted at the same time.

Houston, We Have A Problem

Posted by Lady Mel On Tuesday, October 20, 2009 1 comments

To The American People:

I hate media hoards. I hate average people who are willing to do anything, I mean anything to become famous for 15 minutes. I've talked about the Kardashians. I've talked about the Gosselins. Now, I will talk about the Balloon Boy Hoax only for the remainder of this post. I hope the Hellen family is charged with a felony or two because you guys wasted thousands of our tax-payer money to look for a child that was not even lost. He was inside a box at his house for 5 hours before he was found. The Denver police could have used that money to find a real kidnapped child in need. They should be ashamed of themselves. How could the parents want their 15 minutes of fame when they already wasted it on being on the reality-TV show Wife Swap?



I also hate CNN and all the other cable networks that continue to sensationalize this story like they were reporting on the September 11th terrorist attacks all over again. This publicity stunt and 9/11 should not be on the same level. I would rather jog around my neighborhood 100 times than than watch these people act like media gold diggers. There I said it. And this is the last time I will talk about them. I advise the media to quit with this story so you can stop giving this family media attention and publicity. They are aliens. Don't give your time of day to beings that are not even from this god-freaking planet. To the American people, continue to challenge your government on the real issues that matter to this country.

Sincerely,
LadyMel

Real Time, Set in Motion

Posted by Lady Mel On Monday, October 19, 2009 0 comments


I've changed in the last twelve hours. I just woke up from a constant dream in my head and I think it pretty much left this dimension. I've decided to create an "End of Year" term plan. I seriously cringe at the thought of producing a year long term plan for my career for two obvious reasons.

First, life is unpredictable. Secondly, I like reaching small, obtainable goals. Like exercising at least 3 times a week for 45 minutes or drinking water 8 times a day. Those are simple, realistic goals, but those are NOT the goals that I want to reach right now because I hate exercising and I am obsessed with soft drinks right now. I drink water from time to time, but I am not a big water fan.

I have starting this measure to plan out my life more clearly and deliberately. I am getting out of this house and this is like my ticket out. The more I think myself as an old, pitiful 30 year old man (not a guy but you know the stereotype) living in the basement of  his mom's and dad's house, the more I want to haul. So, I have decided this plan to keep my life in shape and in focus. Each month, I will post my monthly plan. I hope to complete all my October goals so by Halloween, I know what I need to accomplish in Novermber. Here is what I aim to do for the rest of this month:

October Plan:
-Apply to more internships/jobs online.
- Organize my very own mock interviews.
- Reconnect with friends and spend time with them outside of this house.
- Network with Smith College alumanae.
- Start my career by earning a committing job .
- Get more sleep.
- Research more on my companies of interests. (ie. Google, Mediabistro,etc.)
- Stay update with industry news in the media, entertainment, and technology industries.
- Continue writing my blog at least 5 times a week.

I will cross off the goals that I have accomplished by the end of October. Wish me good luck!

Where the Wild Things Are

Posted by Lady Mel On Saturday, October 17, 2009 1 comments




I'm not a child
But I know
Where the wild things are.
It's out there.
Not waiting for me
It's just out there.
I'm ready for it.
No more white lies.
No more illusions.
Wild things are out there.
Silly dreams
Are dreams too real to imagine.
You can find them
Where the wild things are. 
- By LadyMel (Inspired by my life right now, and the new Hollywood movie adaptation of the book that I haven't read, but I will pretty soon.)

Blackface, What is That On Her Face?

Posted by Lady Mel On Friday, October 16, 2009 4 comments

I said about a week that I love fashion and I do. But, as someone who admires the fashion and entertainment industries, I am also a critical critic with some of its practices and regulations. I am critical because I learned as a Smithie to challenge and question the status quo. I do it all the time now. Recently, French Vogue launched its November Issue and has anyone buzzing about Dutch model Lara Stone's blackface photos in her thirteen page photo spread. Thanks to Twitter and other online blogs such as my beloved Jezebel.com for updating me on this matter. I seriously do not understand why a magazine publication would do this. How can magazine editors see this as art?


If you read the comments below this video on its Youtube page, people are commenting that this is a cry for black people to shout out "racism, racism, racism" every time some non-black people puts on blackface or allegedly does or say something racist towards black people. But I have some thoughts everyone should take into consideration:


1. The United States just elected its first black president. If you haven't noticed this even if you are not an American, remember that there wasn't a black president until 2008. There were 42 white presidents before him.

2. Wow, we just elected our first black president. Hooray! Racism is so over! We are free at last! If you follow this philosophy, where have you been these past 500 years?! Many political figures are spreading anti-Obama hate all across the country. This post-November election world is bombarded with people who do not think that Obama is an American citizen because his father was Kenyan and that he is spreading his socialist ideology to every facet of our society, including our children. Let just say the 2008 presidential elections brought the racists out of the closet.

3. There is always this misconception that France, Great Britain, and other European nations are more racially-tolerated because slavery ended in those countries way before slavery ended in the United States in 1865. But is there is a black or non-white British prime minister? No. I admire French culture, especially its intellectualism. Famous African-Americans in the late nineteenth century such as W.E.B DuBois left the U.S to France because France was more accepting of racial minorities than the land of the free.  Fast forward to 2009. Paris has a strong, present North-African immigrant population. Algeria was a former French colony. Yet, they live in the poorest Parisian neighborhoods around. Secondly, France has more strict immigrant and assimilation laws than the United States. So, I am not surprised if these people are having a harder time being accepted into modern French society because they also discriminated based on their ethnical backgrounds.

4. Europe started modern imperialism and the bondage of non-white people. So, don't make it seem that Americans are overly sensitive to these issues. Racism is everywhere.

5. There were NO women of color in this French Vogue issue.

6. Fashion has a long history of not accepting models who do not go by the industry's standard beauty qualifications.

7. Did I forget anything?

Although, French fashion is art, I think it is best to be fresh and creative in other ways. Unless, magazine publications want drama and controversy added to their resumes. Maybe, just maybe, the editors and photographers were not thinking about blackface in the context of the colonialist history. Maybe there were challenging our traditional notions of "race" and "racism". But, people have to be more careful and considerate of the current state of race politics in the United States and in other countries. The United States is not the only country with this problem. Trust me.



Hates Real, Curvy Women. Healthy and Anexoric Models.
Where is the Love? Where is the Diversity?
Makes me Sick. 

My Top Five Pet Peeves!

Posted by Lady Mel On Thursday, October 15, 2009 0 comments

Everyone has them. I am going to share mine. :D

1. Clingy, co-dependent people.

2. Ignorant, disrespectful people.

3. Hypocrites.

4. People who don't contribute anything in group projects.

5. Bad, unoriginal Hollywood movies.

What are your pet peeves? Write in comments.

I Dreamt of Lady Gaga

Posted by Lady Mel On Wednesday, October 14, 2009 0 comments

I named my Blogger username after this new emerging pop diva. Lady Gaga. She has taken the world by storm and here are the reasons why I admire her:


1. She is an innovator. Like Madonna, she takes fashion risks usually other musical artists and celebrities either emulate or would not take. In many ways, you can say she is the new "Madonna", but she has that something else that makes her more unique. Madonna may not have the best singing voice in the world, but she can outsell and outperform the best entertainers around. She can draw tens of thousands of fans with a single touch of her "larger than life" persona. Lady Gaga has that "larger than life" persona, but she is also a trained pianist and she writes her own music, something Madonna does not possess. Two thumbs up!

2. She is now a gay activist. Now, I do not want to start a whole "Holy Bible, gay marriage" blog post because I understand that many people do not share my opinions on gay marriage and I do not want to create a partisan, one-dimensional online platform. But, I would say that is that I admire someone who values human rights for every person on this earth and values that people should fight for those rights regardless of race (I detest that word but that is another story), sexual orientation, religion, political affiliation, and gender. If all people were treated with dignity and respect, this world would be in a much better place in the long run. Watch Lady Gaga speak in front thousands of gay activists at Sunday's National Equality March in Washington D.C. I do not think she did this for the publicity. She participated in the NYC gay community years before she went mainstream.


3. I love her music. It's pop music at its prime. But some of her songs especially her smash hit, Papparazzi discusses the recuperations of fame and fortune in a time when people value it more than their own lives. It's pop music with actual meaning to it.  Her music gets you in the mood for dancing around your room without the care of the world, but her music comes straight from her heart. Issues of bisexuality, love, and fame came up in her debut album, The Fame. 

4. She is not afraid to be herself. Critics say she overdoes it with her fashion picks on the red carpet (did you see her multiple outfits at this year's VMAs?!?!) , but is that relevant? Her role models are Andy Warhol, Prince, and Micheal Jackson, so she's in good company. Although, I like her feistiness and her power to resist the traditional social modes of femininity, she will inevitably become another social label. People will try to define her persona without knowing the real her and it is quite unfortunate. She does not care about the critics and that is why I like that about her.I think she will overcome that hurtle, you know. Let the critics say whatever they have to say about her and she will just ignore them. Hate and envy comes with the territory with being an entertainer in this industry. But I think bad criticism should not deny someone from pursuing his/her dreams. You only have one life to live, you know.

Brangelina: Inglorious Bastards

Posted by Lady Mel On Tuesday, October 13, 2009 0 comments

I followed the most recognizable Hollywood couple ever during their 10-day world tour. I was chased by hungry looking white tigers in Thailand. I rode tall Asian elephants across the Himalayas Mountains in 110 degree weather. All for an one-hour interview. Do you think it is worth it? I do! I'm a part-time freelance writer and this is my big break! I asked the very tough questions !! Oh what joy! ^.^  You can catch my whole interview in next Friday's Entertainment Weekly issue. Of course, people are going to find this on the Internet. So for the people out there, copy and paste this to everyone!


Bright, misty day in Brangelina's beautiful Prague apartment. I have never seen such golden, celestial light surround two people in my entire life. Guess the rumors are true. I was a bit frightened.

Lady Mel: Thank you for this wonderful opportunity. How are you two today?

Angelina: I am doing quite good today (looks at Brad slyly) I've managed to get the kids to sleep. We have been up all night. Yesterday was a very busy day.

Brad: Yeah, it took us like five hours to get them to sleep. They are hyperactive, inquisitive little creatures that need attention almost every second of the day. It's quite astounding.

Lady Mel: I saw Shiloh's tomboyish attire in a recent photo. Will she become a tomboy when she goes up?

Angelina: I don't know. Like who cares? If she wants to wear pink little dresses for the rest of her life, so be it. If she wants to wear sweats and a T-shirt and call it a day, I don't care. It's her decision. I let her be a fashion lunatic.

LadyMel: Brad, you have millions of fans across the world. You get paid millions to do Japanese commercials. Do you think of yourself as a pretty boy or a serious "Hollywood" actor?

Brad: (puzzled). I consider myself a serious actor. When I make movies, I put my heart and soul into each role. I may not get recognized for such roles, but it is the humility and determination that counts.

LadyMel: Then, why do you suck in almost everyone of your movies? The only ones that I like you in are Legends of the Fall, Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I seriously don't know why you are so famous.

Brad: (in a strong voice) Correction. I think that is your opinion. All my fans love my movies. Where have you been in the past 20 years?

LadyMel: Watching good movies. Maybe you are famous because of your highly-publicized string of Hollywood romances with Gwendolyn Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, and now Angelina Jolie. (Brad chuckles). Speaking of which, how's Jennifer these days? I heard you guys are still friends even after your messy divorce.

Brad: (Angelina stares at Brad quite rudely) Jennifer is still one of my good friends. She is out there making movies, you know doing what she loves best. I support her 100%.

LadyMel: Uhm, but her movies suck big time.

Brad: But, it is always a matter of opinion. She has done a great service in Hollywood. That is why I appreciate her hard work in this industry.We have a special, congenial bond between one another and I would never abadoned her just because we are no longer married.......

Angelina: (Interrupts) But now, he has built a family with me and I could not never be more happier. (Changes subject) What is that around your neck, LadyMel?

LadyMel: Oh, do you like it? It's a gold necklace. (Opens necklace) My younger sister gave it to me about six months ago. Inside is a picture of my youngest niece Prue.  (Angelina and Brad bend over to look at picture. Angelina smirks. I grabbed necklace). Oh, No, No, No! Don't even think about Missy!

Angelina: Think about what? I think she's beautiful. (Wide smile). Don't you think Brad?

Brad: Yup, she kinda looked like Vivenne when she was around six months old.

Angelina: How much you want for her? How can I get in contact with your sister?

LadyMel: (angrily) She is not for sale! She is a human being for Christ's sake, not one of your Hollywood trends! (calms down) I think we need a break here. May I use your bathroom?

Angelina: (Puzzled and confused look on face). I'm deeply sorry. I did not know what came over me.

Brad: Absolutely. I think we all need a  five minute break. The bathroom is the second door to your right.

LadyMel: Thank.. you.. (runs to bathroom quite quickly to the hallway)

Brad: See what you have done, Angie. No more kids! We already have six. No wonder the tabloids think we are crazy. I should have chained you to the bed post.....

I'm a Female Gamer!

Posted by Lady Mel On Sunday, October 11, 2009 6 comments

There, I said it. I am a female gamer and I am proud of it. I am a female geek who plays video games. No, I did not become a gamer after the Nintendo Wii came out in the American market a couple of years ago. I've been playing computer interactive games before the Windows 95 operating system. I used to play Doom on my mega nerdy uncle 's PC computer back in the day.

By age 8, I was playing Super Mario Brothers 3 and Mortal Kombat during my spare time. Even my mother played alongside me. Isn't that awesome? Yeah, those were the times. My favorite video game of all time hands down is Dynasty Warriors 3 by Konami. It has an great storyline and I love kicking massive butt in it. The computer graphics are pretty good, but at long as I can kill armies of soldiers and military officials (^.^), I am fine.


Nowadays, I don't play as often as I used to when I was younger unless you consider World of Warcraft a game at all. WOW is life for many addicted players. Trust me, I know some. At times, I thought it was but overall it's not. It consumes your life once you are addicted to it, but it is not life to me. It combines technology, communication, epic pwnage, noobs, and guild drama into one whole package. I started playing January 2008 after watching the legendary Leeroy Jenkins video in a "History of Video Games" class my junior year at Smith College. I played the 10-day trial version and I was hooked ever since.

Two years later, I have invested my time in two avatars, a level 80 duel specced rogue and warlock, hundreds of quest lines, and hundreds of hours in fun dungeons. You don't want to know how many times I have gotten myself into REALLY bad pugged raids. It is a shame. WOW may seem worthless to the non-WOW user, but for people who are into technology and connecting with hundreds of peoples across the world to level your players, the ganking of other players in player vs players territories, and obtaining the best pve and pvp gear around, it may be worth it. But be aware of the addiction. I had to check myself a couple of times because I was getting so consumed into the game. So, don't let it take over your soul.

Now, I have stopped playing to do more productive things during my leisure time. Once in a while, I might pop out of nowhere to reconnect with friends and former guild members I have met since joining the WOW phenomenon two years ago.  But more importantly, I have far better things to do with my life like pursuing my career and leaving the "nest" (God parents these days) on my own. :D

Dear Mr. President

Posted by Lady Mel On Saturday, October 10, 2009 0 comments

I voted my first time in the 2008 November presidential elections. I voted for you and I could never be happier. But, when I found out that you won the Nobel Peace Prize yesterday afternoon, I was a bit puzzled. You have done a tremendous job on changing America's global image overseas, but now is the time to act on your principles and promises from your presidential campaign. Be more aggressive on passing health care, gay rights, and Iraq/Afghanistan measures. No more gregarious talk. We need action.

I salute you for your diplomacy and maturity as a president. I have not seen that in years, but now is the time for change. You promised change. I want it. So, with your prestigious prize and your big speech to the Human Rights Campaign tonight in Washington, D.C, please promise the changes that this country needs to survive in this recession. For all Americans; Democrats, Republicans, Liberals, Independents, Communists, Libertarians, Socialists, non-believers, pessimists, optimists, rich, poor, alike. I believe in you.

Sincerely,
Lady Mel

Picture of the Week

Posted by Lady Mel On Friday, October 9, 2009 2 comments


Role Model. Strong. Powerful. Determined.
Inspiration.

Hot Buzz

Posted by Lady Mel On Thursday, October 8, 2009 0 comments

I have some exciting news! I have a laundry list of things I have on my mind that I want to share to the rest of the world, especially my loyal followers. Let's find out:

  • Early April, I applied to Google's Associate Product Manager position. I did not the position.  Hundreds, maybe thousands of computer science majors applied to the job and I do not have that major, I did not get that job. However, I think I have my calling. I went on the website yesterday and discovered Google's 2010 Start Program. Interviews start next month and rolling applications are accepted throughout the end of the year. 
  • I am very excited because the three positions Google is trying to fill: Associates, Associate Manager, and Analysts are positions that I am eligible to apply to because they do not necessarily require engineering or computer science backgrounds! Woot! I was so excited that I spent ALL day yesterday working on the cover letter and researching the company again. I am applying to the Associate Manager position this time and I am more confident and determined than ever! *Flexes muscles* I have completed third drafts already and I will have a professional look at the cover letter before I sent it out. Hopefully, it should be done before Tuesday of next week. To all the Google recruiters out there, bring it on!

Secondly, I have a confession to make. I am in Love with British designer John Galliano. His 2010 spring collection was the most brilliant line that I have seen this season. His brings originality, theater, dreaminess, drama, and passion to his clothes. Even his models are  under his spell. I think he is caught in the Marie Antoinette era, but that is a good thing. His brand tell rich stories other fashion labels can only dream of. He is a magical storyteller who understands that fashion must be playful and fun.

 Although, I think TV host and former prescetor Nancy Grace is a bit loco at times, she was right on the money about the Jon vs Kate Gosselin media frenzy war. Last week, Jon Gosselin took out $200,000 from the family's bank account after sources confirmed that he was not coming back on the hit TRL show, Jon and Kate Plus Eight. He now demands that TRL producers to not film his children anymore. But Jon Gosselin, just because you are not making money anymore and your ego is crushed, you cannot just change your mind about the whole "15 minutes of fame" ordeal and try to prevent the media from filming your children's daily lives. If you did not want your kids to be exposed to the media in the first place, you should have not signed that TRL contract! Your ex-wife Kate is stupider for deciding to continue with the show. Personally, I think she just wants the $$$. She does not really care about the welfare of her children. Oh, and you and your ex-wife's "15 minutes of fame" are up. I want my tax payer $$ back.

Parisian Recessionista

Posted by Lady Mel On Tuesday, October 6, 2009 3 comments

Imagine yourself in the year 2009. Wait, it's 2009. Ok, Ok, change of scenery. Imagine yourself in the best Parisian outfits in the year 2009. Well, I can. I have a passion for daydreaming because sometimes I do not want to feel bored or lost in a world of this magnitude. Earlier, I've shown you just a screen shot of the New York and London designer clothes that I would rock on the runway if I had the money, the confidence, and the time of day.

Now, imagine that I am a Parisian aristocratic princess who sat front row at Karl Legerfeld's show next to RiRi and Katy Perry. I demand attention!  In this dream world, I am that it girl and with the spectacular and eloquent taste in fashion. Yet growing up from humble beginnings, I offer my spring style to the masses. I love splashes of deep, vibrant colors with the classic black demeanor. In this dream world of mine, I made an appearance at every Parisian fashion show because I am awesome. After hours of close examination, I blog about my favorite designers duds to the blogosphere. You want to know what and who I will wear at every Hollywood and European function this spring? Here is a sneak peek to what I will wear. Come and get it.

Sonia Rykiel 
Back to reality. Personally, I have some fashion experience. I worked at StyleCaster last year and I follow up on fashion trends quite often. But there are so many fashion blogs, websites, models, designers, and shows every season, it can be a little overwhelming for someone who is new to the game. Anyway, this year I have been eying this spring season and I knew the French would not let me down.

Sonia Rykiel. You see, I am a picky person. I have looked at countless runway shows online and I see the same thing; bland colors, lots of black and gray tones, lack of originality. Fashion is suppose to be original and phenomenal. I know this is a recession, but I do not want to look like a walking one. Fashion can be serious,but it has to be fashion-forward and effortless at the same time. The House of Sonia Rykiel channeled that energy perfectly. Even the models smiled. You don't get that in most fashion shows nowadays. It's always the demure, "strike a pose", emo look.  I like that the models were enjoying themselves. It's French chic like you see  it all the time in fashion magazines and in movies. LiLo, if you are out there, learn a thing or two from my alter ego, LadyGaga. Go back to your acting career. Oh wait, you don't have one. Go somewhere.

Jean Paul Gaultier 
I will finish with French designer Jean Paul Gaultier's collection. I was quite surprised that this collection had an American urban feeling to it. Does anyone know if he is known to portray that sense of style within the fashion hierarchy or was the lead designer just experimenting with different patterns and ideas? Anyway, I like that he placed emphasis on color, street smarts, and layers and that there were many black models. So, these are the clothes I will wear along with a few adjustments here and there. What you receive is what you get. Salut.

LiLo N'est Pas Chic

Posted by Lady Mel On Monday, October 5, 2009 0 comments



Dear Paris and Every French Designer,

How can you let Lindsay Lohan, a modern train wreck and paparazzi attention hoard, help design the renowned Emanuel Ungaro Spring 2010 Collection? What were you thinking, like seriously? I'm quite disappointed. A toddler could probably put together a much more hip, futuristic fashion line than this woman.

Salut,
LadyMel



Poked His Face

Posted by Lady Mel On 0 comments




I knew by Thursday afternoon that Lady Gaga was going solo on her world tour. We are certain she and Kanye West parted over "creative differences" like EW and other entertainment websites declared several days ago. Kanye West was screwed after his Taylor Swift rant last month at the VMA's. I personally did not think Taylor Swift should have won the award, but I respect the fans's decision to name her this year's Best Female VMA recipient. Karma is a bitch sometimes, Kanye. Learn to control your mouth and maybe, just maybe, other artists will view you with more respect. Lady Gaga, you are awesome.

Wanted: Mad Men

Posted by Lady Mel On Sunday, October 4, 2009 0 comments

Two wealthy, powerful  men. What do they have in common? They have both cheated ridicule in the figurative sense. Dave Letterman. I give you props for finally speaking the truth. You shocked the hell out of me. I did not know you could go that low to cheat on your longtime girlfriend now-wife with several of your female staff members but then you're David Letterman. Yet, do not make yourself the victim just because a CBS news producer tried to blackmail you and is now charged with extortion and possible jailed time.



Then, famed Hollywood director Roman Polanski was arrested early last week after skipping his rape trial 30 years ago. How can someone get away with drugging, raping, and anally sodomizing a 13 year-old girl and then leaves the U.S to Europe, but then gets the support of the French intellectual aristocracy and Hollywood actors like Natalie Portman?

Let me play the Devil's advocate. A person bombs U.S federal buildings, killing thousands of Americans in the process. He/she skips his/her sentence and then leaves the country to live in another country as a U.S fugitive. The CIA and the international police manages to arrest him/her after thirty years out on the run. Would you want that person to be punished for the crime that he/she had committed years ago? I bet you won't hear of a support petition in the news. These particular celebrity gossip stories are so complex, I personally do not know who are the main victims.