It is about 10:00pm at night. LadyMel tosses and turns in her sleep. It has been two weeks since the tragic incident in Miami and she has not slept peacefully. The media won't leave her anymore. She has no sense of privacy anymore. Every night she has the same frightening nightmare. She imagines herself on a foggy, Saturday night being chased down three zombie-like celebrity douche bags from a graveyard to the end of the of a mountain cliff. She wakes up right before she jumped to her awaited death at the sea below.
But tonight was quite different. There were no zombies, no cliff, no sense of eeriness people get when exploring inside a graveyard in the middle of the night. She keeps hearing little eerie noises in her head, demanding her to turn on the TV. Suddenly, Lady Mel jumps off with her eyes wide open, finds the remote, and turns the TV. What you are to read is possible the most unusual thing unimaginable. Three green aliens appear in what looks like President Obama's Oval Office. The old-looking one is sitting in the president's seat while the two taller ones are beside him, gazing mercilessly at LadyMel. Their hypnotic, black eyes pierced into LadyMel's being like the eyes of a newly fresh corpse. The eldest begins to speak, all is silent and sinister in the air.
Alien # 1: (In an alien voice). Good evening, earthlings. Some of you are wondering why there are three little green men on your television screen and no we did not hijacked the White House. This room is a image projection of your leader of the free world's historical office. Our technology is a thousand year more advanced than your pitiful piece of garbage, so you would not understand if I told you. (small cough). My name is Denias, the leader of the Truth, a 100,000 year old race of beings from a galaxy 10 billion light years from Earth. We are here to present you with some needed information. (Spreads his arms out). I would like my vice presidents, Jetiah and Anteghi here to further explain the ordeal.
Alien# 2: (In an deep alien voice). Greetings, earthlings. We are aware of the sudden deaths of your beloved celebrity douchebags some time ago and we are quite satisfied with the results. Like the humans you are, you always point fingers and try to gather evidence to seek the absolute truth. You all are now wondering who killed your precious douchebags.(laughs devilishly).Well, we did. (LadyMel gasps, Jetiah smiles devishly). We killed them because they were not worthy to live. While, you humans continue to place these beings on a center price for the world to digest, the Truth grew tired of this nonsense and decided to put matters into our own hands.
Alien#3: (In a very sinister voice): Yes, yes. You see the last straw was with this Balloon Boy Hoax. Our satellites detected the image of the flying balloon from outer space that fateful day. We have been keeping a close eye of your world for the past 1,000 years and we decided that this was the perfect time to show you pitiful humans that incompetent baboons should not exist. What we did was we sent three extra identical party invitations to the three victims. The three of us picked a victim and arranged each murder to our liking. Thanks to our technology, we virtually left any prints or DNA at the crime scene. We saw the confusion of your faces and decided we could not have all the fun. (In a sarcastic tone). Call us clever or nefarious, but we are the peacemakers here. Imagine a world without douchebags. (small pause). I bet you cannot. That is where we come in to cleanse your race of its barbarians and jackasses.
Lady Mel is in full shock and denial. Although, these aliens are the masterminds of the triple murders, there are still questions left to be asked. Only time will tell. What the future holds for Lady Mel and the world at large is uncertain, but she now understands that she and the aliens have something in common, despite common appearances: Douchebags must be punished.