Murder at The Million Dollar Halloween Party, Part I

Posted by Lady Mel On Wednesday, October 28, 2009 0 comments

Lady Mel has established herself as one of the most famous and legendary NY socialites around. She has lived in Paris, Tokyo, Prague, London, Rio de Janeiro, and other exquisite places, the non-wealthy can only dream of. She is also an emerging late night talk show host, a profession that was once a networked old boys club.

This Halloween, Lady Mel is hosting her annual Million Dollar Halloween Party in Miami. It is so exclusive that only 200 guests are invited and they must pay $1 million dollars to get in. The proceeds are donated to their favorite charities or their own charity organizations, of course. This year's party theme is Hollywood meets Dracula, so everyone must wear either extravagant, period or modern costumes with a dash of that Halloween spirit. In this scene, Lady Mel and her assistant Prue are sitting at the table of LadyMel's office in her upscale NY Penn house in Upper Manhattan, reviewing the final revision of the guest list and confirming the party's festivities.
LadyMel: Prue, we must finish the final plans for the party! It is going to be fabulous. I am going to get publicity like no one's business. Anyway I want to check with you to see if everything is in order. Do you have the lights and decorations?

Prue: Check.

LadyMel: Will our DJ and our awesome performing guest come? Drinks, food?

Prue: Yes, DJ Clue and Lady Gaga are coming. Lady Gaga is going to perform some of her hit songs off her freshman album and some of our favorite Halloween songs. Her manager only wants a piano and the stage decorated. The liquor will be trucked in two days before the party so we have to make sure they are kept in cold temperatures. And Wolfgang Puck will be here tomorrow morning at 11:00am to go over our party's delicious menu.

LadyMel: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. This is why I can always count on you Prue. You are divine. Call Mr. Jones and tell him that the rented mansion has a lovely white piano and stage in the ballroom. (Smiling with glee). I am so excited. I know you haven't seen me this happy like ever.

I felt pressured to top this party from last year's and I will. This year, I have a well-connected security system. No one gets inside that mansion except my favorite 200 celebrity guests. We have cameras in every room of the facility. We will have at least ten bouncers by the door, identifying guests and kicking out the uninvited and even the invited guests who act all rowdy and disrespectful before they even hit the dance floor. Which brings me to my last proposition before I eat my dinner. Prue, could you read the names on the guest list please?

Prue: (In a clear voice). Of course. We have Mr. and Mrs. David Beckham, Lady Gaga, the Black Eye Peas, Peaches, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Gerard Butler, Paul Wesley, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Oprah Winfrey, Kanye West.....

LadyMel: (In a loud voice). Kanye West?! K-A-N-Y-E W-E-S-T?! Prue, what did I say about whom to invite?

Prue: *sighs* They must be either A-list stars and winners in their own right. We do not invite douchebags.

LadyMel: (ProudlyExactly. You are becoming a fast learner dear. Please make sure that our special performing guest does not get leaked to the public until after our little event ends. Now continue with the list....
Prue continues until everyone on the guest list had a "Lady Mel background check" before invitations went out. Four weeks later, the party of the millennium is in full bloom. After a hour of grand entrances, casual talk, and the consumption of $2000 bottles of white champagne, the guests surround the beautiful, yet retro stage as they wait for the mistress of ceremony to start the show.

In a nanosecond, the audience hears a set of drums coming from behind the curtains. The curtain opens and everyone starts screaming "Lady Mel". LadyMel comes out with a Marie Antoinette costume with a set of vampire fangs and fake blood all over her dress. Yet, she is the most sexiest person in the room. She is laying on a Egyptian style coach with two handsome Brazilian hulks on both ends feeding her grapes. She brings the microphone to her mouth.

Lady Mel: (In a devilish sexy voice). Hello, everyone. CAN EVERYONE MAKE SOME NOISE?! (Heaps of applause and screaming men from the audience). I want to invite you all to the greatest show on earth, the fifth annual Million Dollar Halloween Extravaganza! (More round of applause.) Before we start, I want to thank my personal assistant Prue (points to Prue in the back of room; everyone looks at her.) for helping me organize this wonderful occasion. I could not do it without you. (Blows a kiss to Prue on stage). Give her a round of applause people! (Loud Applause and whistles.)

I also want to thank all my favorite people out here who came out tonight. (Looks all around the whole room.) You know I am the best in the game and I hope this will become a time you will never forget! So, start dancing, get laid, drink until you are tipsy, because this is the only time of the year when your passions and fantasies will come true. LETS GET THIS FUCKING SHOW STARTED! Hit it DJ Clue! (DJ Clue starts playing a hip-hop/techno remix not heard anywhere else, everyone starts screaming like banshees and dancing to the music.)

Two hours into the party, LadyMel introduces LadyGaga on stage. The audience goes absolutely wild! It is until Lady Gaga begins to perform her third song of the night, "Paparazzi", when this night of fun and adventure comes to a halt. In the middle of the song, a very loud scream comes from the left side of the ballroom. It's coming from the pool area. Everyone rushes outside to the pool area and what you are about to read will make you vomit, I guarantee you. Two identified corpses are in close proximity of one another. In the middle of the pool, Jon Gosselin's lifeless body lies; just south of Jon's corpse on the ground near the balcony seems to be Kanye West's corpse covered in blood.

Lady Mel: (in a confused, terrified voice). Omg, Omg, Omg. Someone call the police! NOOWW! (Prue calls the police on her IPhone 3G). (Someone else screams in the kitchen on the first floor; everyone rushes to the kitchen. There, the third victim, Richard Heenes's corpse is faced down on the floor with two butcher knives sticking out of his back covered in blood.)

Lady Mel: (In a calm voice). Everyone, I want you all to go back into the ballroom and remain calm. Police will arrive within the next five minutes. I am terribly sorry that this has happened. (All of a sudden, the sparkler system goes off and everyone rushes out of the mansion, dritched in cold water.  Paparazzi are outside flashing their lights and taking pictures of the terrified celebrity crowd. For what may come out of these murders will become the biggest scandal of all time. )