Posted by Lady Mel On Friday, October 30, 2009 1 comments
It has been several hours and the event has already made headlines on every main American and international cable network. The tabloids are going to eat this tragedy up like the best sushi in Japan. Lady Mel has been getting frantic phone calls from loved ones and even a couple of death threats.
In the morning, she opens her white curtains inside her Miami apartment complex to get some sun into the cold room; only to see dozens if not hundreds of paparazzi and wannabe Youtubers above her balcony window flashing bright lights. She runs out of the hotel and into her $500,000 white Lamborghini and zooms out before the shetter bugs could even take decent, profitable pictures. Thankfully, the paparazzi was stupid enough to not surround Miami's forensics lab. Five minutes later, Lady is sitting across a table from Horaino Cain and his other partner Eric Delko, who is taking notes.
Horatio: (throws a copy of guest list in front of her). I see that Mr. West, Mr. Heenes, and Mr. Gosselin were not on your guest list? Why is that?
LadyMel: Because they were douche bags and male media whores. Need I say more?
Horatio: (sarcastically). Explain in English, please? I do not have all day.
LadyMel: I invite who I think are the most recognized and innovative celebrities and entrepreneurs out there. Kanye West screwed up on the VMA's. He did not get invited. Richard Heenes wasted two hours of my life as he fooled the world into believing that his kid son was caught inside a flying balloon. He did not get invited. Mr. Gosselin is a male media whore who only wants to stay in the limelight to extend his fifteen minutes of fame. Epic fail on his part. So, he did not get invited. I do not waste time with people of the lowest denominator. Do you see the pattern here?
Horatio: (sarcastically, paces around room). Yes, I most certainly do. But you are a celebrity yourself, am I right? Are you an attention whore? I've heard about your late-night talk show and highly-publicized celebrity interviews. I bet you hired a hitman to kill them these men (whispers in her ear), so that you can increase your celebrity brand.
LadyMel: (in a calm voice). Yes, I seek publicity and the love of my admired fans quite frankly. But I have been hosting this Halloween event for five years now. I have helped raised close to a billion dollars in philanthropy work. Each guest donates his or her million dollar fee including mine own to a local charity or other non-profit organization of his or her choice. I may be an attention whore, but I put my mouth where the $$ is.
Horatio: (Looks directly into Lady Mel's face, small pause). I've interviewed some of your guests and I will not say names because I want to protect their confidentiality, but a few have mentioned to me that they did not see you a hour prior to the LadyGaga performance. Where were you at that time?
Lady Mel: (calmly): I am a hands-on kind of gal. I was all over the place last night, making sure the food was served properly. I did not pay the world-revered Wolfgang Puck $2 million dollars for nothing. I made sure everyone had enough champagne and vodka to drink. I was in the chef's quarters. I was dancing my ass off. I was doing a hostess does best; to make her guests as entertained and satisfied as possible, while having my own bit fun in the mix. (In a slight angry tone). If my guests want to point fingers at me, if you want to point fingers at me, then you have the wrong person. (Small pause). I think we are done here.
Horatio: (smirks, puts signature black shades on). Yes, I think we are. We will get back to you once we have all the evidence. And if you are the culprit in this case, I will make sure you do not get patrol. They may have been incompetent men, but a murder is a murder. You have a wonderful day now.
LadyMel: (smiles): Thank you very much. (Grabs her pulse and leaves the room. She gets into her car, rides in the back door of the hotel and up the stairs to her VIP room. She jumps on the bed and takes a deep breath. This is the biggest thing that has ever happened to her life. How will she survived the media? But more importantly, who is the killer?)
TO BE CONTINUED.......