I have had enough of your
fucking (5/17/10) name! Every single week, you are all what screaming, teenage girls talked about online. I have had enough and I am coming out of the woodwork. I will not be silent anymore! Here are the top ten reasons why I hate you, Justin Bieber:
1. You trend Twitter like it's no one business. You are ruining the authenticity and culture that is the Twitter brand. What does a teenage girl's misguided mind reveal? The Apocalypse!
It goes something like this: "Look, I tweet in 140 characters or less about Justin Bieber all day long instead of discussing about more important issues such as national security, illegal immigration, and health care reform. I will use my power to put Justin Bieber on the top of the trending topics list every fucking week!" *Prays in front of her Justin Bieber shrine before running off to watch Twilight*.
2. Your stardom puts you in the company of other talentless, overrated child stars such as the Jonas Brothers, Lindsay Lohan, and Miley Cyrus. Speaking of Miley, I saw your lame new video.
3. Every mobile-texting, teenage girl tweets about you, but the rest of us are still wondering why in the hell you are famous in the first place.
4. Three-year-old toddlers kiss the ground you walk on when they should be playing with Legos instead.
5. My own mother gushes like a high-school virgin every time I mention your name.
8. You make the fangirls of the 90s boy band era, including myself, look like bunch of 60s hippies compared to your bra-throwing teenage groupie fans. They even make us feminists look bad. At least, the Backstreet Boys were talented!
9. You performed at the 2010 White House Easter Egg Roll with Glee.... Glee and Justin Bieber should not be in the same sentence. The reason that President Obama invited you makes me wonder if the world is really in peril.
10. Your name is my death sentence.
So there you have it. My ten reasons for hating your popularity Mr. Bieber. Now run along before I go madly insane. What is with the flipping of the hair? Afraid I will go and shave it all bald? Muhahahaahha! Give me your reasons why you love and hate Justin Bieber. Post them in the comment box below. I want to be mildly entertained.