Tyra, Tyra, Tyra

Posted by Lady Mel On Monday, September 28, 2009 2 comments

LadyMel: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Late Night Show with your fabulous host, LadyMel!  *audiences claps* Our first guest became the first African-American supermodel to solo Sports Illustrated  in 1997. She's a talk show host and the executive producer/creater of the hit CW show "America's Next Top Model". Lets welcome, Ms. Tyra Banks!!

*walks onto stage, smiles at audience, shares a kiss on check with LadyMel, sits in chair right beside host.*
LadyMel: Welcome, welcome. Omg, who are you wearing?!

Tyra: You like? I'm wearing this nice Chanel dress. Girlfriend, I was at New York's Fashion Week and I met your idol, Lady Gaga. She is absolutely stunning.

LadyMel: I know. *smiles* I see you are wearing your weave tonight? You went au-natural on Larry King the other day. Why can't you be au-natural on my show?

Tyra: LadyMel, do you know that there are like millions of people watching me on your show right now? I have to present myself to the fullest.

LadyMel: Uhm, millions of people were watching you on CNN that night, I don't see any difference.

Tyra: Girlfriend, it's Larry King of all people. His presence alone can make black women take off their weaves. *audience roars with laughter* I have deep respect for the man and his career.

LadyMel: So, you will only show your natural hair to a seventy something year old guy? What other things do you show to old desperate hippy guys out there, Tyra? *audience laughs* How weird. What do you have there in your hand?

Tyra: My new Blackberry Smartphone! I love it. I tweet all my fans and friends whenever I have a chance to do so. I am so obsessed with it.

LadyMel: What do you think about the whole "Twitter" phenomenon?

Tyra: I think it is fabulous. OMG, I'm trying to ask as many questions as possible on my page. I have like 3000 followers and according to Twitter,  I will have 5,000 more. People love me. People want to know what I am doing in the morning, what I do behind the scenes of my talk show and on ANTM. Social networking sites are becoming the new black now. LadyMel, you have to be a guest on my show.

LadyMel: Which one? I hope you won't torture me. *smirks*

Tyra: Haha. I think you will make a wonderful ANTM guest host. I know you love to criticize people so I think it will be a great experience. Now why would I want to torture you like that? I'm a diva. It comes with the territory. *snaps fingers, audience cheers*

LadyMel: Which furthers my point. *audience laughs*. I have seen your bitch-free moments on ANTM. It's quite entertaining actually. Let's roll some footage please.

Tyra: *two minutes later, points at camera* Girlfriend, I had to teach those girls not to take over my show. They came with attitude problems prior to the show and I had to straighten them out. If anyone wants to be an aspiring model, you can have a "positive" attitude and strong confidence, but I don't want to see the other side of that in front of my judges and fans. It makes me look bad. It makes them look bad. I always root for my girls.

LadyMel: Which brings me to my next question. Why are your season winners or even runner-ups for that matter not as famous and ubiquitous within the fashion world like Kate Moss or even yourself at the prime of your modeling career in the 1990s?

Tyra: I have no idea. *Nervous as hell* Uhm well, Eva Pigford who was the third season winner on the show is now a Covergirl spokeswoman and she was just recently on the Young and the Restless. But I generally think that supermodels are not as popular as they used to be ten or even twenty years ago. Now Hollywood actresses are taking on that role.

LadyMel: We are running out of time, are you promoting anything? Anything new?

Tyra: Well, ATNM is going to premiere its 14th season *audience cheers* Wednesday, September 30th at 8:00pm EST on the CW. Tweet me on Twitter everyone! My screename is TyraDivalicious. And I will be on America's Got Talented in the next three weeks. I will be a guest-host.

LadyMel: Thanks Tyra for coming on the show. Next, we have Gerard Butler! *audience claps, show goes off air*
Disclaimer: I am making fun of Tyra Banks. :D


Emily said...

This is, by far, the weirdest thing I've ever read on a blog. But I loved it!!

Mrs. M. said...

ANTM has been on the air for 13 seasons which means they had roughly 140-ish contestants on their show and out of those 140 only a couple have actually appeared in magazines and are living the life of "models". The only truely successful one is Toccara who, among other things, had an amazing spread in the all black issue of Vogue Italia. Ironically enough Ty-Ty kicked Toc off for the lame excuse of not having a personality. Way to pick em, Tyra! ANTM used to be good but all Tyra cares about now is having girls that will make good television.