Lights. Camera. Drama.

Me.
There is no room.
For Lady Gaga or
Snookie costumes.
Just Me.
Me.

I have decided not to dress up for Halloween this year. Booo Booo. Halloween is just one of those days where a woman can be a slut and its acceptable. Why do I want to be a slut for a day when I can be yourself? I am just going to enjoy the candy, the movies, the escapism without wearing a mask. Plus, I'm too old and I have better things to do. Like building my empire and personal worth. When that's established, then  I can trick and treat all I want.

So don't worry about me.
Have fun
With your latex and Halloween candy.
Enjoy.

Just some food for thought. What will you be this Halloween season?

For this month, I've decided to tailor my blogging schedule a bit differently:

October 4th-October 9th- 1-2 blog posts
October 10th-October 16th- 1-2 blog posts
October 17th-October 23rd- 1-2 blog posts
October 24th-October 31st- 5 blog posts, all tailored to Halloween week!

Due to volunteer work, you will see fewer blog posts from me. I did not want to create blog posts without substance and without my signature blogging style, so the ones that I will produce will not be garbage. If you are a new reader, last October, I dedicated the last week of October to Halloween. I wrote this insane story about a Halloween "triple homicide" party and even my Halloween costume picks. I hope this year I can top it off with even more sheer madness. If you want to check out my cool story, look no further: 

Murder at the Million Dollar Halloween Party, Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV.

So don't worry about whether or not I will finally get my driver's license or finish reading my Seth Godin books. I won't anymore. Life is in the now. So expect some surprises and maybe a special guest or two this month. Muhahahahahaha!

I finally completed the story. I hope you like the twists and turns and reread it for your viewing pleasure. So, I want you guys to have a fun and safe Halloween this year and save me some of that good Halloween candy while you are at it. Yummy. =) *waves*

It is about 10:00pm at night. LadyMel tosses and turns in her sleep. It has been two weeks since the tragic incident in Miami and she has not slept peacefully. The media won't leave her anymore. She has no sense of privacy anymore. Every night she has the same frightening nightmare. She imagines herself on a foggy, Saturday night being chased down three zombie-like celebrity douche bags from a graveyard to the end of the of a mountain cliff. She wakes up right before she jumped to her awaited death at the sea below.

But tonight was quite different. There were no zombies, no cliff, no sense of eeriness people get when exploring inside a graveyard in the middle of the night. She keeps hearing little eerie noises in her head, demanding her to turn on the TV. Suddenly, Lady Mel jumps off with her eyes wide open, finds the remote, and turns the TV. What you are to read is possible the most unusual thing unimaginable. Three green aliens appear in what looks like President Obama's Oval Office. The old-looking one is sitting in the president's seat while the two taller ones are beside him, gazing mercilessly at LadyMel. Their hypnotic, black eyes pierced into LadyMel's being like the eyes of a newly fresh corpse. The eldest begins to speak, all is silent and sinister in the air.

Alien # 1: (In an alien voice). Good evening, earthlings. Some of you are wondering why there are three little green men on your television screen and no we did not hijacked the White House. This room is a image projection of your leader of the free world's historical office. Our technology is a thousand year more advanced than your pitiful piece of garbage, so you would not understand if I told you. (small cough). My name is Denias, the leader of the Truth, a 100,000 year old race of beings from a galaxy 10 billion light years from Earth. We are here to present you with some needed information. (Spreads his arms out). I would like my vice presidents, Jetiah and Anteghi here to further explain the ordeal.

Alien# 2: (In an deep alien voice). Greetings, earthlings. We are aware of the sudden deaths of your beloved celebrity douchebags some time ago and we are quite satisfied with the results. Like the humans you are, you always point fingers and try to gather evidence to seek the absolute truth. You all are now wondering who killed your precious douchebags.(laughs devilishly).Well, we did. (LadyMel gasps, Jetiah smiles devishly). We killed them because they were not worthy to live. While, you humans continue to place these beings on a center price for the world to digest, the Truth grew tired of this nonsense and decided to put matters into our own hands.

Alien#3: (In a very sinister voice): Yes, yes. You see the last straw was with this Balloon Boy Hoax. Our satellites detected the image of the flying balloon from outer space that fateful day. We have been keeping a close eye of your world for the past 1,000 years and we decided that this was the perfect time to show you pitiful humans that incompetent baboons should not exist. What we did was we sent three extra identical party invitations to the three victims. The three of us picked a victim and arranged each murder to our liking. Thanks to our technology, we virtually left any prints or DNA at the crime scene. We saw the confusion of your faces and decided we could not have all the fun. (In a sarcastic tone). Call us clever or nefarious, but we are the peacemakers here. Imagine a world without douchebags. (small pause). I bet you cannot. That is where we come in to cleanse your race of its barbarians and jackasses.

Alient #1: (Smirks). Therefore, there is no need to declare war on my people. Just continue on with your pathetic ways of living and remember that we lurk in your dreams and very existence. If you want a war, you all will die. (laughs evilly). We are aware that there are millions more out there and we will do what's in our power to eradicate these douchebags (speaks slowly) once and for all. You have been told the Truth. Muhahahahaha! (TV goes fuzzy, the TV screen turns black).

Lady Mel is in full shock and denial. Although, these aliens are the masterminds of the triple murders, there are still questions left to be asked. Only time will tell. What the future holds for Lady Mel and the world at large is uncertain, but she now understands that she and the aliens have something in common, despite common appearances: Douchebags must be punished.

 It has been 10 minutes since the ending of the first installment of this story and Lady Mel, along with her celebrity guests, stand by the side of the road as several police vehicles, a black SUV, and several ambulances parked in front of the rented Miami mansion. Exiting the black, unmarked SUV were no other than Horatio Caine and his partner Cailleigh Duqueque, supervisors of Miami's most badass and highly-assembled forensic team in the known galaxy. Horatio Caine walks up to LadyMel with his cool demeanor and signature dark shades.

Horatio: (In his badass voice). LadyMel, I want you to come over here. (Calleigh walks over to Horatio). My colleague Ms.Duqueque (Calleigh grins at LadyMel) will present her findings, while I will ask you a couple of questions.

LadyMel: Of course. (Horatio leads LadyMel to one of the ambulances with the bodies of Richard Heenes and Jon Gosselin inside).

Horatio: (Takes shades off, looks directly at LadyMel). Miss, I would like your complete guest list and full access to the cameras inside this mansion. I will tell the public that every guest will be fully interrogated in several rounds of questioning including you and your security team. We will get to the bottom of this and I will assure you that your guests will not leave this country until a thorough investigation has been executed. Since, you are the prime suspect in this case, you will be one of the first person that I will interview. Do you understand?

LadyMel: (smirks). Yes, I do. But, I will have my lawyer flown here before you can say "I'm innocent".

Horatio: (stern voice). You better make sure of that.

Calleigh: (Opens up body bags, small pause). I examined Mr. Heenes's body first. It seemed that there was no sign of resistance or struggle. Someone from behind stabbed him with two butler knives repeatedly in the back. I saw large, deep cuts near the pelvis area, the lower and upper back area, and near the neckline. (points to Gosselin). Mr. Gosselin seemed like someone pushed him into the pool and forced his head into the water with extreme force until he ran out of oxygen. From the looks of it, Mr. West was pushed from the balcony to his death. There was a lot of internal bleeding and when he hit the cement floor, his skull was crushed into a thousand pieces.

Now, these are just preliminary examinations. Within the next month, we will reexamine the bodies and the murder scene and talk with witnesses and close associates of the suspects until we have substantial forensic evidence to convict someone or a group of people with three accounts of first-degree murder.

Horatio: LadyMel, when are you avaliable to talk with me and my team?

Lady Mel: I will be at your office by one o'clock.

Horatio: Alright then. Judging from these three men and their common douche bag reputations (puts his signature black shades on), I guess karma is a bitch. (Walks away from the left side, the Who's Won't Be Fooled Again (CSI: Miami theme song) plays in the background).


To Be Continued................

Hi, everyone. I am taking a mini break from writing today. I hope you guys enjoyed my intense Halloween drama. I am in the works of planning the last (several as 10/30/09) installment right now. It will be posted by tomorrow afternoon. Please comment on yesterday's blog post and tell what you think so far. For those who do not know, my alter ego is LadyMel and I channel her energy in my blog. I also have some nice, unpredictable things in store for the ending. Or is there an ending to this horror story? Muahahahaha.

In the meanwhile, watch this cool video below. I was snooping on Mediabistro.com last night and I came across it. These two guys are wearing fabulous IPhone costumes that they actually built. They look very creative and usable like real IPhones in the market. I wonder if I can press their buttons. ^.^  I am such a flirt.

Lady Mel has established herself as one of the most famous and legendary NY socialites around. She has lived in Paris, Tokyo, Prague, London, Rio de Janeiro, and other exquisite places, the non-wealthy can only dream of. She is also an emerging late night talk show host, a profession that was once a networked old boys club.

This Halloween, Lady Mel is hosting her annual Million Dollar Halloween Party in Miami. It is so exclusive that only 200 guests are invited and they must pay $1 million dollars to get in. The proceeds are donated to their favorite charities or their own charity organizations, of course. This year's party theme is Hollywood meets Dracula, so everyone must wear either extravagant, period or modern costumes with a dash of that Halloween spirit. In this scene, Lady Mel and her assistant Prue are sitting at the table of LadyMel's office in her upscale NY Penn house in Upper Manhattan, reviewing the final revision of the guest list and confirming the party's festivities.
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LadyMel: Prue, we must finish the final plans for the party! It is going to be fabulous. I am going to get publicity like no one's business. Anyway I want to check with you to see if everything is in order. Do you have the lights and decorations?

Prue: Check.

LadyMel: Will our DJ and our awesome performing guest come? Drinks, food?

Prue: Yes, DJ Clue and Lady Gaga are coming. Lady Gaga is going to perform some of her hit songs off her freshman album and some of our favorite Halloween songs. Her manager only wants a piano and the stage decorated. The liquor will be trucked in two days before the party so we have to make sure they are kept in cold temperatures. And Wolfgang Puck will be here tomorrow morning at 11:00am to go over our party's delicious menu.

LadyMel: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. This is why I can always count on you Prue. You are divine. Call Mr. Jones and tell him that the rented mansion has a lovely white piano and stage in the ballroom. (Smiling with glee). I am so excited. I know you haven't seen me this happy like ever.

I felt pressured to top this party from last year's and I will. This year, I have a well-connected security system. No one gets inside that mansion except my favorite 200 celebrity guests. We have cameras in every room of the facility. We will have at least ten bouncers by the door, identifying guests and kicking out the uninvited and even the invited guests who act all rowdy and disrespectful before they even hit the dance floor. Which brings me to my last proposition before I eat my dinner. Prue, could you read the names on the guest list please?

Prue: (In a clear voice). Of course. We have Mr. and Mrs. David Beckham, Lady Gaga, the Black Eye Peas, Peaches, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Gerard Butler, Paul Wesley, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Oprah Winfrey, Kanye West.....

LadyMel: (In a loud voice). Kanye West?! K-A-N-Y-E W-E-S-T?! Prue, what did I say about whom to invite?

Prue: *sighs* They must be either A-list stars and winners in their own right. We do not invite douchebags.

LadyMel: (Proudly) Exactly. You are becoming a fast learner dear. Please make sure that our special performing guest does not get leaked to the public until after our little event ends. Now continue with the list....
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Prue continues until everyone on the guest list had a "Lady Mel background check" before invitations went out. Four weeks later, the party of the millennium is in full bloom. After a hour of grand entrances, casual talk, and the consumption of $2000 bottles of white champagne, the guests surround the beautiful, yet retro stage as they wait for the mistress of ceremony to start the show.

In a nanosecond, the audience hears a set of drums coming from behind the curtains. The curtain opens and everyone starts screaming "Lady Mel". LadyMel comes out with a Marie Antoinette costume with a set of vampire fangs and fake blood all over her dress. Yet, she is the most sexiest person in the room. She is laying on a Egyptian style coach with two handsome Brazilian hulks on both ends feeding her grapes. She brings the microphone to her mouth.
Lady Mel: (In a devilish sexy voice). Hello, everyone. CAN EVERYONE MAKE SOME NOISE?! (Heaps of applause and screaming men from the audience). I want to invite you all to the greatest show on earth, the fifth annual Million Dollar Halloween Extravaganza! (More round of applause.) Before we start, I want to thank my personal assistant Prue (points to Prue in the back of room; everyone looks at her.) for helping me organize this wonderful occasion. I could not do it without you. (Blows a kiss to Prue on stage). Give her a round of applause people! (Loud Applause and whistles.)
I also want to thank all my favorite people out here who came out tonight. (Looks all around the whole room.) You know I am the best in the game and I hope this will become a time you will never forget! So, start dancing, get laid, drink until you are tipsy, because this is the only time of the year when your passions and fantasies will come true. LETS GET THIS FUCKING SHOW STARTED! Hit it DJ Clue! (DJ Clue starts playing a hip-hop/techno remix not heard anywhere else, everyone starts screaming like banshees and dancing to the music.)

Two hours into the party, LadyMel introduces LadyGaga on stage. The audience goes absolutely wild! It is until Lady Gaga begins to perform her third song of the night, "Paparazzi", when this night of fun and adventure comes to a halt. In the middle of the song, a very loud scream comes from the left side of the ballroom. It's coming from the pool area. Everyone rushes outside to the pool area and what you are about to read will make you vomit, I guarantee you. Two identified corpses are in close proximity of one another. In the middle of the pool, Jon Gosselin's lifeless body lies; just south of Jon's corpse on the ground near the balcony seems to be Kanye West's corpse covered in blood.

Lady Mel: (in a confused, terrified voice). Omg, Omg, Omg. Someone call the police! NOOWW! (Prue calls the police on her IPhone 3G). (Someone else screams in the kitchen on the first floor; everyone rushes to the kitchen. There, the third victim, Richard Heenes's corpse is faced down on the floor with two butcher knives sticking out of his back covered in blood.)


Lady Mel: (In a calm voice). Everyone, I want you all to go back into the ballroom and remain calm. Police will arrive within the next five minutes. I am terribly sorry that this has happened. (All of a sudden, the sparkler system goes off and everyone rushes out of the mansion, dritched in cold water.  Paparazzi are outside flashing their lights and taking pictures of the terrified celebrity crowd. For what may come out of these murders will become the biggest scandal of all time. )

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Hello everyone! As a child, I dressed up as a pirate, Cleopatra, a witch, and a pumpkin for Halloween. But as I've matured, I like being myself for Halloween because it takes very little effort on my part to show my awesomeness without spending $$$. I am a Halloween fashion trendsetter without absolutely doing nothing. I rock. ^.^ Halloween is a day in which people can shed their boring selves and embody the celebrity or magical/demonic creature of their choice. But, I would advise not to dress as certain people or images because I am trying to save you from public humiliation. After looking at each costume below, you will know what I mean. Here are some examples.

DO                                                                                                     

                                                

Get ready for Halloween this Saturday. Now is the time to buy your crazy costumes and prepare for the all-exclusive Halloween parties and events across the country. What will I be doing to celebrate this holiday? Let just say that I will keep it low-key this year. I will be myself for Halloween. Sometimes, I think that is the most original costume out there. But don't let my seemingly bland plans ruin your sense of fun and uncontrollable excitement. I will celebrate Halloween by hosting a week of ghastly, terrorizing, and ghouly entertainment in the LAND OF CYBERSPACE.

This blog is going to shock you, frighten you, amuse you until you are dying for more. Since, I am a natural tease, I will not tell what I have up my sleeves. But I will add is that each blog post this week will be Halloween themed.  (In the scariest witch voice ever). This blog will come alive and tear your heart out! Sleep my children. Sleep innocuous dreams and by Halloween, you all will be mine for the plucking. I want you and your little dog too. Muhahahahaha!