Lights. Camera. Drama.

Every online website and cable news network from Time Magazine to CNBC has shared their own lists of  the best and worst celebrity scandals or ideas of the last decade. And now I am going to give you my rundown of the lessons that I have learned since the year 2000. I still cannot believe it has been ten years already since the start of the twenty-first century. I am getting old.

1. Don't Fuck With The Terrorists: I apologize for using the f word, but I had to. With 9/11, this recent attempted Christmas bombing of a commercial airplane heading to Detroit, and the Fort Hood massacre still lingers in the hearts and minds of the American public, I do not want to be in the way of their plans for mass destruction and terrorism. And I am not only talking about Islamic fundamentalists.

I am talking about the seemingly liberal media, government agencies, and other American institutions that continues to undermine the potential and progression of the American people. Not all media people are terrorists. I love NYMag.com, Huffington Post, and other online blogs and websites. But I know when to draw a line between the facts and sensationalism. So do not screw with the terrorists. Learn to overcome their campaigns of fear the best way you can. The politics of fear is the most destructive weapon of all. I've learned to not take every breaking news with a grain of salt. Take control your life or they will.

2. Douchebags Rule the World: If you have not read my wicked Halloween tale yet, I strongly recommend you read it. Douchebags rule the world basically. Jon Gosselin thinks he is a living, breathing male god who is now rumored to have lied about a home invasion only to get publicity. He is a douchebag because he has not grown up to support his eight children. A douchebag would not allow his children to be on television in the first place.

A doucebag could be the nice neighbor, your ex, your psychopathic brother or even you. Stars like Kanye West, Richard Heenes, the White House Crashers, Dave Letterman, Charlie Sheen, and Tiger Woods are just the high-profile ones. The list goes on and on. You can take a douche bag out of Hollywood but you cannot take Hollywood out of the douche bag. The last of the most intelligent people on Earth should reclaim the planet from these people or by December 21, 2012, the world might come to an end. So when you write your New Years Resolutions people, please promise me to either convert the douche bags in your life to reasonable human beings or ignore them altogether.

3. Technology Has Redeemed Itself from the Dark Ages: With the highly-anticipated Google Nexus and the Apple Tablet coming out next year, I am glad that I do not have to use floppy disks and CDs anymore. I am glad that 2010 will bring us closer to the science fiction days of our childhood pasts. I am glad that we are a step closer to artificial intelligence and Star Wars technology. Did anyone notice that in one of my Tech Diva 2010 Prediction post, I predicted that Apple will come up with a new invention before I even knew that Apple was going to premiere the "Apple Tablet" sometime next month to the public. Haha, I'm good. So, Facebook and YouTube are in. Goodbye 20th century garbage. 21st century technology is our future.

4.  Celebrity Deaths Are Overrated: This decade will forever be known as the decade of the Greats. Michael Jackson, Brittany Murphy, Heath Ledger and Anna Nicole Smith all die due to reported drug overdoses and/or long histories of drug addiction. I still remember the day when I heard about MJ's untimely death. I just did not believe it because it's Michael Jackson we are talking about. The Michael Jackson. But there should be a line between at least a few days news coverage to about a year's worth of  untrue stories, fabricated truths, and millions of dollars of unnecessary publicity. Talk about the missing children of this world. I do not want to watch six months worth of the reasons why or maybe why Anne Nicole Smith died. There are other important things that matter to me. End of story.

So before you browse a newspaper or a popular search engine for information, activate your common sense and take yourself on a wild goose chase.